Kiwi all over body shower experience (SE)

Since November I have seen this guy, we've spent time together most weeks. We've had dinners and wandered around London taking in the sights and sounds but we are not in a relationship. You could say we have an understanding but we've not really spoken about it so it'd be a naturally occurring one if that's where we are at.

The last time I saw him I told myself it would be the very last time, my issue being, what is the point in all this?

He took the train out of London and I picked him up at the station (as had become the norm), we drove back to my place and I filled the time chatting away, asking how his week had been was always filled with, "yeah good" or "fine" so it was for me to regale with tales of what I had done.

We got to my house and in we went, I told him I had been running late so I poured us a glass of wine and put out some nibbles to keep him happy as I handed him the remote. "I'm going to shower," I said. He had had his haircut and was looking particularly good, he smirked and said in his deep New Zealand drawl, "ok, I'll come up soon to join you." I told him I didn't share my shower and he should stay put, "I suggest you lock the door then," he said. I laughed and headed off upstairs with my vino in hand.

The shower was really warm and the bathroom was filled with the scent of sanctuary products and the subtle vanilla given off by the candles which provided the sole lighting. My music loudly played out for my iPod and I was feeling quite relaxed. I'd already showered that day so this was just a freshen up. Suddenly I felt a presence in the room and he was standing there, he stripped naked in front of me, exposing all 8.1 inches of what the good lord had given him. I gave him a 'don't you dare' stare but he was undeterred. He stepped in ever so slowly and came up behind me, his hands were on my hips and he started to kiss my neck which he knows to be my weakness! 

I am so used to being in control and most men wouldn't have dared to join me when I was making it clear an invitation wasn't there but he didn't care. He didn't seem at all intimidated by me but equally he had never done anything or behaved in a way that would show him anything other than my good nature. At just over 6 foot he felt so tall compared to my 5'5" and I realised he has so rarely seen me out of heels...even I can't wear them in the shower! He kissed my back and pulled gently at my hair. His hand then made its way between my legs, cupping me and teasing me. I played out the scenario in my head and was expecting to be bent over at any second but the tender kissing and touching continued. 

I was totally lost and then he turned me to face him, he kissed me passionately as the water splashed over us, it was really warm and I could feel myself burning up with the heat of the room and the desire for this man. He kissed my breasts and was far more gentle than normal, every hair on my body felt like it was standing and I wanted to ask him to take me but instead I let him choose the pace and I savoured very moment. 

He gently parted my legs a little further and then slipped himself inside me as he took my hands in his as used them to leverage himself and position me where he wanted me. My back was against the cold tiles which was welcome. His knees were bent and as he started to straighten his legs up I could feel more and more of him until it was clear I had his full length. 

I was looking straight in to his eyes and he watched the effect each gentle thrust had on me. I could tell he was turned on by turning me on. The sex was slow, deep and every single move felt incredible. My legs were shaking and I could feel myself building toward a climax, he could see it too and his rhythm increased. He kissed me hard and fast as he could feel my muscles clenching and knew my orgasm was close, I was overwhelmed and my legs started to give. 

He held me in place as he continued his unrelenting thrusting and I came, I felt like I was sliding down the wall of the shower but I realised he had his arm wrapped around my waist. He had come too, it was less obvious with him (he's far less vocal) but I knew what to look for now and I could feel his shudder and that look of release and pleasure on his face. He kissed me again but this time it was gentle, his tongue explored my whole mouth as his other hand held me gently at my throat. He then kissed my neck and shoulders as the water continued to splash all over us. He smoothed his hands up and down my body as the water also snaked its way down me.

He looked at me and asked me if he had done anything to make me feel showering with someone was actually good. I said it was ok but it had definitely helped and he smiled. I have never been one for big, gushing statements and he knew damn well it was incredible, my body told him everything he needed to know!

"I'll leave you to enjoy the rest of your shower in peace," he said as he stepped away, grabbed a towel and exited the bathroom. I watched him go and suddenly felt a little panicked. We had spent quite a lot of time together and had sex on average 7 times during each encounter, he knew what I liked as I did him and the sex was getting better and better every time. Any other guy I met had one hell of an experience to compete with and I felt like I was falling in love with the sex but not the man. Where the hell did I go from here? Well, right now, it was to freshen up go downstairs and no doubt have sex on the living room floor, kitchen, dining table maybe, fire place? Or if he's at his usual form all of those places!

The Return of the Kiwi

As Christmas approached it seemed right to phase him out. The Kiwi had been great fun but it was never going anywhere and I had my eye on another. He was due to go skiing and I had a trip directly after, so it would be some time before we would see each other anyway.

Christmas came and went and some pleasant "have a good Christmas" messages were exchanged. During the latter part of my trip the not very chatty Kiwi started to send more messages asking what I was doing, who I was catching up with, how it was going etc and a regular and fun exchange of messages ensued.

He made it clear that on my return he intended for us to meet up. I was pleased but fairly casual about it given I had made arrangements to see at least one other guy (just for dates at that stage). As the messages continued the Kiwi decided to tell me what he wanted to happen when we caught up. The information he provided became more detailed and a vivid picture started to emerge. 

We kept the chat casual and agreed it would be great to catch up, he acknowledged that it was most likely I was just passing the time with him but he said he was good with that and quite frankly he would happily sign up to being my sex slave! I couldn't really argue with that. The Kiwi is 7 years younger than I and happy to just have fun without the complexities of a relationship and expectations.

The exchange of when, where and what we would do continued. We struggled to set up a date and his frustration at this was stated. He wanted to see me and act on our intentions ASAP. 

We finally arranged a date and four or five weeks since our last encounter had passed by this stage. As much as everything we had discussed sounded amazing I told him that due to our absence from one another we may need to just see how it went, my concern being, what if we didn't find each other as attractive now? As soon as I saw him that concern was eliminated and seemingly he had no such worries.

We chatted in the kitchen for about an hour over a drink.  We sat up on the work tops sharing stories of what we got up to over Christmas. What I enjoyed was not having to temper, tame or omit anything when telling him what happened. He is as laid back as they come and it seemed like anything would go.

We laughed about our antics and in particular my stories about my first family Christmas in a decade! I suddenly felt like we had found our way of being, we had talked a lot before but the continued contact over Christmas which was decidedly more than our usual "fancy catching up this week?" seemed to have helped.

He came toward me and I knew he was going to kiss me. It was a giggly and passionate kiss. His hands were in my hair and then all over me. As he kissed me purposefully and then kissed my neck I let my nails drag down his back and grabbed at his hair...I wanted him so much!

We would normally let it happen where ever the mood took us but the suggestion was made to go upstairs and so we did. We held hands up to my room and continued the kissing. We started to undress ourselves and then each other. I was then pushed on to the bed and he kissed up and down my body until I was trembling, each time he passed my breasts he paid them more and more attention and sucked and kissed them with a growing sense of urgency. He started to grab at me and I was desperate for him to do something to me, he asked what I wanted and rather breathlessly I said "just do what you do."

He smiled at me and his mouth made his way down my body until I felt his hot breath on my clitoris and his tongue made contact; I threw my head back and let the rush take over me.

The enthusiasm was more than you could ever wish for. He took genuine pleasure from what he was doing. The first orgasm was intense and fast and he refused to stop there, he became a little gentler before building back up to the second. His tongue was everywhere, inside me and all over me. He rocked his head in to me and the intensity was hard to take so he pinned me down in order to hold me there...I have bruised thighs as a reminder of this. 

For the third he pulled my legs apart by my ankles as far as he could, I'm pretty flexible and he was making the most of it. By this point I had orgasmed twice so he upped it for the third, with my legs as far apart as possible he sucked and caressed me until I was bucking under him. He controlled my movement by pulling me up and affectively suspending me by my ankles...he is very strong! The third was deep and I almost whimpered as the climax built, the sweet mix of overwhelming intensity and an orgasm that comes stabbing through your body.

After the third I wriggled away. "You need a safe word" he says, "if you were tied up right now I would keep going and you were struggling away at points, you won't be able to when I tie your legs down." For the first time ever I genuinely felt a safe word is actually needed. There is still an air of mystery about him but I trust him enough to let him tie me up and of course I want to enjoy it.

He pulled me up the bed and pushed my legs apart, I felt him inside me and it was already amazing, he is rather large but this time it felt ok, but then came the rest! Holy shit! I shouted out immediately and he laughed so I giggled and said "I think I forgot how big you are." The sex was quick, hard and he came in no time. Given what he had done for me I had no issue with this, plus it was only 5pm and we were there for the night. 

We lay there after sex and I asked him if he knew the actual size of his manhood. He laughed and said he didn't, he added that he knows it's not small but girls always tell you that you are big anyway. I advised that I wouldn't unless it was but also girls would tell him that as it was much bigger than average because it's true and they probably found it overwhelming too. He has agreed to letting me measure it, I didn't get round to it this time as we didn't really get out of bed! The sex continued through to 5am at which time he had to get up to head back in to the city. 

Sunday sees part two of what is now referred to as 'naked Sunday' and I can't wait to see what he has in store for me. He has advised that I do stretches and a warm up and he wants to start at 2pm this time. I can't wait!!! 

Dating in Multiples

Dating in multiples may not be for everyone. Many will say they struggle for one date but maybe they haven't quite gotten with the online programme. POF opened a whole new avenue of opportunity for many but the front runner at present is Tinder.

The basic idea of stating you like the look of someone and knowing they feel the same gives an equality to your relationship from the start.  There is a confidence that gives a positive feel to your initial contact with your Tinder kindsman.

If used correctly a steady flow of dates can be achieved. Last week saw 4 dates with 3 different Tindermen. A first date (with Wall Street), a first and second (with Surfer) and a third date (with Kiwi). The third date person has neither asked me or been asked about any other dating activity which apparently means it's ok to see others.

Every date was good. Each guy is nice, interesting, attentive and fun but without one another it doesn't work. They may not realise it but they each get the best of me because time is snatched and there is no time to discuss work issues or something that may be getting us down its only the fun stuff. I'm on a high from my last date when I go on the next and I'm in a permanent mode of carefree and flirty. I am also feeling confident and attractive.

I appear to not need anything from my dates except a good evening. I won't ask them for anything or burden them with any concerns and they will therefore yearn to see me again. What they enjoy of me is born out of the fact I am seeing more than just them (though they may not know this)...if they try to change this then they risk changing what they like.

A friend asked why one isn't enough. She quite rightly pointed out that I like the guy I saw for a third date. I'll maybe see him twice this week and once for sure, we will keep in touch a little in between but it will be light conversation and 'checking in' rather than truly catching up.

After a successful first date Wednesday I saw Mr Third Date Thursday and we had a fab evening. We arranged to see each other the following week. Saturday was a day with the girls...it looked likely to end early so I arranged a second date with Wednesday date. He was keen to see me again ASAP.

I manage my diary in an enviable way, I balance my dates and still have time for my friends. When arranging a date I normally find myself saying, "I can do Tuesday, Friday or the week after." By giving options I am making myself available, as they are specific days and I am "busy" otherwise it makes me more interesting. If they can't do the days then they go a week without seeing me...99% of the time they are or can make themselves available.

The dates will often ask what I am doing. I vowed to myself I wouldn't lie and manipulate so I am honest but I omit information. I will tell them I'm out to dinner, ice skating, going to the theatre, going for cocktails etc with a friend or friends. No further questions are asked other than "did you have a good time?"

I didn't see myself as a multi-dater and its not been an intentional move, more a natural progression off the back of a new dating app. How would I feel if the guys are doing the same? I think I can honestly say I don't care, not at present anyway.

As long as everyone's happy right..?

Midnight Caller

He was determined to meet for our first date soon and tried for brunch on Sunday. I explained I couldn't so he tried for the afternoon and then the evening before finally giving up. I commented that he was clearly not used to being told no! He text most of Sunday and then again Monday.

He had his work Christmas party that evening; a black tie sit down dinner. He wasn't looking forward to it, the party is a Monday night and he's been in work since 7am and will need to be in by 7am the next day.

Through the evening he sends a few texts then announces he is leaving the party. He vents his frustration that he can't see me soon and says he might just jump on a train to see me. I'm an hour out of the city so I laugh at him.

He sends a few more messages and then a photo of the train board at Clapham Junction which shows the last train of the evening to my town. I giggle and tell him he is silly. He then texts to say he is on the train...he lives in Fulham so it's odd he was even on that platform, he wouldn't surely?

The texts continue and a new picture comes through, it's the on board train information and it states its bound for my town. This is starting to feel a bit crazy, I wondered if maybe a friend was heading that way and he'd arranged to have pictures sent to him so be could use them to wind me up?

He continues to state his intention to see me, it's gone midnight so I am not totally believing him but just in case I say to get off at East Croydon. He says he won't and then says he wants to just see me even if it is brief. I'm having none of it but he goes on and on. He says its an adventure and I should just go with it. I tell him be is being very unfair...I still don't quite believe him but its niggling that he genuinely could be en route.

It's almost half past midnight now and he is still insisting he is coming. I tell him to get off at Gatwick and get a cab home or stay in a hotel. I try to make the point that this isn't my problem. He sends a picture of his business card to somehow show he's a "decent fellow" in his words; apparently being a hedge fund manager doesn't make you a serial killer. Hello...have you seen American Psycho?

He says he made a promise to himself not to waste anytime. He had some sad news on the weekend about a friend so he's decided to live a bit more. I explain that I feel like I am being guilted in to seeing him and that's not ok. He says its not like that and he has butterflies. He then says "oh god, I've messed up. I'm sleeping in a ditch aren't I?"

He sends a picture of a pin drop on a map which does indeed confirm he is just one train stop away. This is mental!! It's almost 1am!! 

He calls me, it's the first time I hear his voice and my first thoughts are about how posh he is, its like taking a call from Prince Charles. He sounds freaked out...the long train ride has clearly taken the adrenelin rush away.

We talk for a bit and discuss his options. I don't know why but I say he can see me and then go. He is given my addresss which he immediately relays to the cab driver. Shit! I jump out of bed and put a bit of coverup and lipgloss on my unmade face. I was in bed naked so I pull on a pair of jeans with a belt and a fluffy jumper and I quickly tidy up.

He comes down the path and I open the door to let him in. It's 1.10am and I realise that as crazy as I think he is I am the mad cow letting a strange man in at this hour! I offer him a drink and make us both tea.

We sit and giggle away at what he has done. "I'm a trading geek who never does anything crazy, random or spontaneous," he announces. He then says its my fault, apparently I am fun and free spirited and this has encouraged him. I'm way out of my comfort zone I offer so its certainly not my doing. 

We chat away until gone 3am just getting to know each other. I ask him what time he has work and he says 7am. I look at trains and see they will run again in 2 hours so I find myself offering for him to have a lie down for a couple of hours. He is happy with that idea so I book a cab for 5.20am and show him to his room.

His room for the night is mine. He suddenly susses that he is getting my bedroom and I am taking the spare and he says he feels really uncomfortable. He then comes in to the spare room and comes toward me, I put my hand out to stop him getting too close and he spins me and sits on the spare bed. "I am staying in here," he says. We argue; the debate being he is a guest in my house and will sleep where he is told. He then pulls me on to the bed and starts tickling me, I am giggling away and I forget this stranger only arrived a couple of hours ago!

He hugs me and starts to get sleepy. Go in the larger bed I say. He gets up and as I turn to lie down on the spare he grabs my hand and pulls me with him. We go in to the main bedroom and the play fighting continues, this time we add in pillows and hit each other with them until we collapse in to an exhausted heap laughing.  He asks me to stay with him. I smooth his head and say, "until you sleep I will." 

He gets sleepy and I start to think about leaving him to get a little sleep. He then suddenly sits up, grabs my face and kisses me. I am so sleep deprived it takes a moment to register. I find myself kissing him back and then he pulls me to him. We kiss and roll around on the bed. We then stop and laugh our heads off, "oh my god what are we doing?" I say. "I don't know, but I don't want it to stop,"he says.

The  kissing continues, it's now 4.20am and this is truly nuts. He tells me that I am "smoking hot and really sexy" with "the most beautiful angelic face." I smile not really knowing what to say to that. He then adds "you've blown me away." I am starting to feel blown away myself. 

I tell him to get some rest and make it clear sleeping with each other is not an option. He starts to discuss when he can see me again and suddenly he's lining up further dates, not just one but three! I tell him he should sleep and he say he wants to but he can't stop kissing me. 

We kiss more and its great, he pauses only to tell me how attractive he finds me and how he knows he is going to enjoy me in bed when the time comes and then my alarm goes off, wow it's 5 am!!

I get him up and organise towels, I run downstairs to make him a coffee. He has not slept all night and he looks tired now. The taxi calls to say they are outside at 5.18am and we have our kiss goodbye. I shut the door behind him and start laughing, it all feels surreal. I could go back to bed but I am wired.

At 5.30am it sinks in what actually happened and I am surprised at myself. It's going to be so hard to explain this to friends. I text a few of them goodnight yesterday and since then I have effectively had a date!

The day is painful after no sleep but I'm doing ok. Wall Street texts to say how horrible a journey it was and how in need of sleep he is. He then texts to say he is leaving lunchtime and coming back?! What?

He does what he says, tired and sleep deprived be takes a train away from the city to come to see me. He arrives in a cab and I let him in. He opts for tea again and we sit and chat. He is exhausted and I wonder why he has come to see me again. He is a little grumpy and as we chat and I giggle away we seem like strangers again, I am upbeat even though I haven't slept and he is almost comatose.

The chat we have starts to show the difference between my giggly silly humour and enjoyments to his overly serious, 'look at me in a grown up job' ways. He is too serious and a little stuck up.

He falls asleep and then awakens suddenly. I ask if he is ok and he leans forward and kisses me. The kiss is good but he gets very excited, his kissing is firm and he is pressing himself to me. His body starts to tremble. I like to think I can make a man weak, who wouldn't but actually seeing it is a little different. That level of excitement and trembling over this kiss just didn't feel right. Maybe it was because I wasn't trembling?

I talk him in to getting a cab and making his way back home. "You need your own bed," I advise. Cab booked I tell him that he has made me laugh so much and I loved our random encounter but without the spontaneity and craziness of that situation I didn't think we were right for each other. He looked disappointed, kissed my cheek and said goodbye. I checked he made it home ok which he did.

If he hadnt have come back that afternoon I would have definitely wanted to see him again but seeing someone look vulnerable and being a bit grumpy at such an early stage is not fun. I need a man not a child!

Two days passed and he's back. His text simply says "I'm seeing you again."

Why hasn't he called?

He doesn’t like you that much. In a nutshell as much as he probably thought you were attractive and you got on well enough he didn’t like you that much and that’s it.

We girls are forgiving and we will often dream up a happy ending even when faced with the shitty facts. When we have a date we will it to go well, we imagine what it could look like months down the line and play out scenarios in our head. We plan for days in advance what we will wear and how we will style our hair and makeup.

To a guy it’s the chance to hopefully meet a fit bird; he will grab his usual ‘lucky’ shirt and head off to meet you after rubbing a bit of gel through his hair.

You’ll work hard to make a good first impression and be flirty and charming. You will sit there reminding yourself to do regular makeup checks so you look your best and he will sit there thinking about using the bathroom every half an hour seeing as the date is mainly drinks based.

There may be a little touchy feely on the date, if not, at the end he will likely go in for the goodnight kiss as this is a standard way to end the night. How does he draw it to a close otherwise? He may say he’d like to see you again and he will be in touch and he may simply say “I’ll call you.”

At this stage it means nothing, not a thing. Let’s see if he actually calls you. Most guys if keen will text to see if you got home ok, or text the next morning. Unless they are keen to get a physical date confirmed shortly after you’ve met then it ain't gonna happen.

If this isn’t happening but there is still a little contact you have been placed on the back burner, your role there is to wait as he may decide to see you again after all. Regardless it makes him feel good to know you are there if he needs you.

You will wait and wonder if he’s going to make that move and arrange to see you. Seems he’s gotten really busy with work this week and has those things coming up this weekend that have been booked in a while. No doubt he will pick back up with you in a week.

To know whether or not he is keen is simple. If he is, he is and it'll be obvious. He will arrange to see you again and set the date and I mean a fixed date not an “ill sort something out for the next week or so,” it’s a “so Tuesday at 7pm at Gordon’s.” Stop torturing yourself and either a) tell him you want to see him again outright so you know once and for all if he is up for it or b) know when you are being back burnered (made up word) and move on.

It was just one date for goodness sake and he was not the things you dreamt of. Go find another date and dream up a whole new range of scenarios….please!!!