Dating in Multiples

Dating in multiples may not be for everyone. Many will say they struggle for one date but maybe they haven't quite gotten with the online programme. POF opened a whole new avenue of opportunity for many but the front runner at present is Tinder.

The basic idea of stating you like the look of someone and knowing they feel the same gives an equality to your relationship from the start.  There is a confidence that gives a positive feel to your initial contact with your Tinder kindsman.

If used correctly a steady flow of dates can be achieved. Last week saw 4 dates with 3 different Tindermen. A first date (with Wall Street), a first and second (with Surfer) and a third date (with Kiwi). The third date person has neither asked me or been asked about any other dating activity which apparently means it's ok to see others.

Every date was good. Each guy is nice, interesting, attentive and fun but without one another it doesn't work. They may not realise it but they each get the best of me because time is snatched and there is no time to discuss work issues or something that may be getting us down its only the fun stuff. I'm on a high from my last date when I go on the next and I'm in a permanent mode of carefree and flirty. I am also feeling confident and attractive.

I appear to not need anything from my dates except a good evening. I won't ask them for anything or burden them with any concerns and they will therefore yearn to see me again. What they enjoy of me is born out of the fact I am seeing more than just them (though they may not know this)...if they try to change this then they risk changing what they like.

A friend asked why one isn't enough. She quite rightly pointed out that I like the guy I saw for a third date. I'll maybe see him twice this week and once for sure, we will keep in touch a little in between but it will be light conversation and 'checking in' rather than truly catching up.

After a successful first date Wednesday I saw Mr Third Date Thursday and we had a fab evening. We arranged to see each other the following week. Saturday was a day with the girls...it looked likely to end early so I arranged a second date with Wednesday date. He was keen to see me again ASAP.

I manage my diary in an enviable way, I balance my dates and still have time for my friends. When arranging a date I normally find myself saying, "I can do Tuesday, Friday or the week after." By giving options I am making myself available, as they are specific days and I am "busy" otherwise it makes me more interesting. If they can't do the days then they go a week without seeing me...99% of the time they are or can make themselves available.

The dates will often ask what I am doing. I vowed to myself I wouldn't lie and manipulate so I am honest but I omit information. I will tell them I'm out to dinner, ice skating, going to the theatre, going for cocktails etc with a friend or friends. No further questions are asked other than "did you have a good time?"

I didn't see myself as a multi-dater and its not been an intentional move, more a natural progression off the back of a new dating app. How would I feel if the guys are doing the same? I think I can honestly say I don't care, not at present anyway.

As long as everyone's happy right..?